Advice That Sticks

Text in black are quotes; text in green are my notes. I sometimes write in Spanish.

• These are strategies that have emerged from decades of research into two intriguing questions. The first: What makes it so hard for people to do the right things for their well-being? The second: What can be done to help them make lasting, meaningful changes in their behaviour? #

• The evidence by now is pretty clear that this is not a knowledge problem; it’s an implementation problem. It’s not unlike knowing that apples are better for us than chips, even as we reach into the bag for more salty, fatty yumminess. What we need instead of more information is more help in bridging the gap between correct knowledge and effective action. #

• Aside from the professions of health care and finance, what other secular forces in society routinely promote self-restraint and long-term thinking instead of immediate gratification? I’ll tell you this with some confidence: 1-click ordering was not invented by a financial advisor! #

• The authors of Changing for Good3 (a classic book on behaviour change) claim that, at any given time, only 20% of us are ready to bridge that intention–action gap. That is, only one in five people who freely admit to having a problem is truly committed to taking corrective action on it in the immediate future. #

• All decisions have an emotional component to them. People seek advice to solve a problem so that they can feel more settled. #

• If we’re looking to make the best possible decisions for our lives, other people are often our best and most important resource. #

• Some of the most important time savings are the ones your clients may never even be aware that you’ve given them. When developing marketing materials, be sure to include the time-saving benefits of your services. #

• In a 2016 study, researchers confirmed that some people ‘delegate primarily to cede responsibility and blame’ rather than for the more logical reason of benefitting from wise counsel. #

• is vital that you ask what that desired experience or goal is, every time you meet, even if you’re pretty certain you already know the answer. #

• People seek advice to solve a problem, so that they can feel more settled as a result. The more you can contribute to this settling, the more trusted and valuable an advisor you will be to them. #

• ADVISOR AND TEAM MISTAKE #1: Not seeing adherence as a shared responsibility #

• ‘failure to understand clients’ goals and objectives’ has been identified as one of the top five reasons advisors are fired, second only to ‘failure to communicate on a timely basis.’ #

• Like Goldilocks, we need to find that just right ground, which in our case means the right ground between being an arrogant hardass and a squishy marshmallow. #

• In a talk she delivered to the Financial Planning Association in 2012, Willful Blindness author Margaret Heffernan made it clear that she approves of the notion of Thinking Partners when it comes to the advisor–client relationship. The key requirement, she elucidated, is that both parties have to be intentional about ceding a little of their authority or autonomy to the other. #

• ADVISOR AND TEAM MISTAKE #2: Making people feel stupid #

• This is a problem known as the ‘Curse of Knowledge’. Once we know something, we are changed by the knowing of it, and find it difficult to remember that other people don’t know that thing, too. #

• ADVISOR AND TEAM MISTAKE #3: Talking too much #

• More listening on your part also increases the likelihood that clients will come up with their own solutions for many of their problems. Again, the payoff for this is that clients are more likely to implement solutions that they, themselves, have generated. #

• Advisors contribute to non-adherence when they use language and concepts that are not familiar to the clients, when they dominate meetings by talking too much, and when they take a judgment-laden, critical stance towards clients. #

• Resilient recovery from adverse life events did not depend as much as I thought it would on the patients’ socioeconomic status or earnings. Instead, resilient recovery had more to do with their pre-existing relationships to, and around, money. #

• A lack of worry about money, for example, has more than double the impact of income on overall well-being. Financial security – the perception that one has more than enough money to accomplish one’s aims – was found to have three times the impact on well-being as does income alone. #

• We began to be affected by money before we were even born, by virtue of such things as our mother’s nutritional status and her access to health care. #

• Wealth, he observes, serves ‘as an accelerant. No matter what people are like, if you add money, they’ll be more that way.’ #

• Courtney Pullen writes about the need for families to distinguish between privacy and secrecy when it comes to household finance. The former, he explains, is simply keeping information within the family that is no one else’s business; the latter is too often a conspiracy of silence that prevents healthy financial attitudes and habits from developing. #

• the world of arithmetic, one dollar always equals one dollar. But when it comes to the human psyche, it seems that not all dollars are the same. #

• Professors Mullainathan and Shafir have amassed strong proof that financial scarcity causes people to hyperfocus on their difficulties in order to find solutions. #

• No matter how motivated or smart the advice-seeker may be, there’s a lot that can get in the way of follow-through. #

• Trying to comply with a complex set of instructions places a tax on intellectual and attentional resources, getting in the way of other important things (such as ongoing learning). #

• Heads up, advisors! Know from the outset that you’ve got a significant adherence challenge on your hands because of the nature of the advice you have to give. #

• Each time you meet, ask the client what the desired outcome of the meeting is: #

• Ask the client to predict what aspects of things they are most likely to struggle with: #

• Brainstorm with them regarding how the assigned task could be made easier or more palatable: #

• Offer more tactical support and encouragement than you think is necessary: #

• Have a healthy respect for the limits of memory: #

• I routinely ask my clients, ‘Tell me what we agreed would be the next step, and why. What is the date by which you are committing to getting this done?’ #

• There can be no good advice without agreement from the advisee. In medical circles, this lesson is known as the ‘Principle of Readiness’. #

• Asking people about their deepest motivation to engage in a task helps both them and you. They develop a strong attachment to the plan, and you get the opportunity to understand what makes them tick. #

• If people don’t believe that they can do what it takes to reach their goals, they are not likely to engage in the series of steps needed to prepare for, initiate, and sustain the changes they need to make. #

• Between 70% and 80% of the new clients in an advisor’s practice, says Bradley, are people who are anticipating or have just gone through a major life event.42 #

• The research on this matter is unequivocal: The single best predictor of getting through stressful times, intact and thriving, is social support. Sometimes, of course, the problem is that the social support network is impoverished, or dysfunctional, or in some way just not up to the task of skilfully addressing a loved one’s needs. #

• Marshall Goldsmith has described the environment as a ‘nonstop triggering mechanism whose impact on our behavior is too significant to be ignored’. #

• In the words of willpower experts Roy Baumeister and John Tierney, ‘Vice delayed is often vice denied.’52 #

• Cialdini reports that the best social proof initiatives tap into three basic motivations at the same time: to make decisions easily, to feel good about oneself, and to fit in with others. #